The latest exciting chapter in Lia’s series of open letters to places, not people. Dear Fresh & Easy, For the last few months, the area beneath my apartment has undergone some serious construction to which I truthfully never paid any attention. More »
USC has ruined movies* for me. Despite being a film major, it wasn’t the School of Cinematic Arts that destroyed the mirage Hollywood created in my pre-college days. Instead, I hold Bovard, Trousdale, Doheny, and VKC accountable. More »
Your second-best source for the past week's Daily Trojan headlinesDPS safety forum discusses student stress management, decreasing crime rates : Arguably, that second one could take care of both 1970 Los Angeles ban on throwing balls at beaches lifted : All my “MY BALLS, MY CHOICE!” posters must have worked! Onion editors address satire in the media : They said it’s good, right? I didn’t get to go, I assume they said “good. More »
CB reporters had to provide a steady supply of Kleenex as emotion, tears and tear-snot poured out of sophomore Nick Cataton early this afternoon. “Franklin turned to me with this look like he’d forgotten to grab his laundry out of the dryer. More »
Without laws our society would crumble like so many cookies. Our campus bike traffic is abnormally apocalyptic and Highlander-y, so we here at Campus Basement want to say: good job! That’s how you do it – mow down pedestrians/each other, take no prisoners but take the heads for trophies. More »
Hey, Amy Hudson... first off, I really hated you in high school. But thank God I can put all that behind me now that I’m older and more mature; and understand that you were largely reacting from a place of insecurity. More »
A recent study conducted by the Old People Association of Educational Things and Stuff found that 89% of all college professors are indeed age 60+. And yet, the test not only measured physical age, but mental age, creating a record breaking statistic of all college professors with an elderly mental age at 99%. More »
Even with Valentine’s Day freshly behind us, sexy sentiments continue to linger in the air thanks to a fun new pastime that recently came to my attention. Until now, Words with Friends was a game strictly reserved for people that had made a cellular commitment to allow only the one true iPhone they loved get in their pants (pockets) on a daily basis. More »
The 3rd century Roman was martyred for forcing people who were dating to decide too early whether they wanted to commit to an expensive night of manufactured romance. He was slowly burned to death by a crowd of bitter singles and angry casual daters. More »
Despite my disdain for Valentine’s Day, I recognize that some people are desperately seeking companionship on Hallmark’s most successful day of the year. I am a girl who goes to USC, therefore I am officially an expert on how every other female who attends this fine university feels, thinks, and acts. More »
To all you single folks out there this Valentine’s Day, you got it lucky. I would give almost anything to not be in a relationship for this upcoming V-Day. Now, the other 364 days out of the year, I completely love having someone to cozy up to late at night. More »
What we do know: at 9:45am on February 11, 2012, all USC Wireless was completely shut down. Within twenty minutes, ethernet ports started failing as well. By 11am, terrified sorority girls were unable to upload mobile pictures of their angst to Facebook. More »
Just because you’re working exclusively with lowest-shelf alcohol and off-brand sodas, your fellow bartenders are quickly getting drunk, and you’re behind the dining table your roommates dragged outside doesn’t mean you’re anything less than a mixologist. More »
The premiere of NBC’s Smash last Monday has a lot of people talking – and cheering – about a show that could finally dethrone the sad, overwritten, burnt-out-at-three-seasons “hit” known as Glee. More »
“It was only a matter of time,” muses Fire Chief Fred as he looks on at the ashen remnants of what was once a tall proud building. About four years ago, USC pooled funds to build a revolutionary special interest housing: an entire building specifically for people that enjoy pulling fire alarms. More »
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