A Roommate Break Up Told In Passive Aggressive Post-Its

Article by Leah Folta

December 5, 2011 at 5:37 pm

Sometimes passive-aggressive can get mostly aggressive.

Photos by Grace Talice Lee

Handwriting also by Mara Ragan

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February 6, 2012

Survey says 96% of womenâ€™s friends â€œcould do so much betterâ€

When polled randomly about their heterosexual lady-friends’ objects of affection, 96% of female students claimed a decisive “she could do so much better than him!” Follow up quotes from those surveyed were illuminating about the reasons why: “I tell her she could do so much better every day,” one freshman says sadly. “In a world... MORE »

January 27, 2012

Thoughts on Thursday’s Game (By Someone Who Doesn’t Get Sports)

If this is a basketball, I’m not messing this up yet. We got there 45 minutes early to be one of the first 1000, to get a free bag. Bags weren’t for students. Whatever this “Trojan Fever” is, it must be the reason everyone’s at home. But tickets are free! And shirts are five bucks! With sunglasses! Hell yes!... MORE »

January 27, 2012

Weekly Sex: Never Been Kissed

Once a week has never been so satisfying. Weekly Sex, I’m not the only one in this situation, I’ve definitely talked to other people who are the same way, but it’s almost the end of freshman year and I’ve still never kissed anybody. Should I just keep waiting?? I don’t want all the pressure to... MORE »

January 20, 2012

Weekly Sex: The Spark

Once a week has never been so satisfying. Dear Weekly Sex, Ever since getting back from winter break, sex hasn’t really been the same with my partner. I guess since we haven’t been together in a little while, it feels kind of awkward. How can we bring back the spark? – Feeling Off Dear Mr./Miss... MORE »

January 13, 2012

Why USC Should Win The Campus Basement Inaugural Tournament

And The Winner Is… This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to share your favorite! Voting ends for this final round matchup at 9pm PST Sunday, Jan 15! (12am EST Monday, Jan 16) The article with the... MORE »

January 5, 2012

Bottom 5 Worst Places To Vacation (USC)

This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to ‘like’ your favorite! When we found out we had to write about bad vacations, we were like… yeah! We’ve been on so many! Like we’re definitely the opposite of film... MORE »

December 30, 2011

Our New Year’s Resolutions 2012 (USC)

This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to ‘like’ your favorite! It’s the end of the year, y’all. We’d like to share all the helpful hints we were given in 2011 about how we should change, and... MORE »

December 22, 2011

What I’d Want for Christmas if I Were 4 (USC)

This article is part of our “Let’s Keep This Website Awesome Over Winter Break” Tournament series. Check out the opposing article here and be sure to ‘like’ your favorite! It’s hard to remember Christmas at age four. To our adult minds, those days are like the North Pole one foggy Christmas Eve: the Santas of... MORE »

December 14, 2011

Popular Cell Phone Games And Their Life Philosophies

The innocuous little time-wasters we play on our cell phones, at bus stops and parties we didn’t want to go to, may have more to say than you thought. Whether purposely or not, every game is lined subtly with an attitude, an assertion, about the way the world works and how to handle it. For... MORE »

December 9, 2011

Weekly Sex with the CB Staff: Virginity

Dear Weekly Sex, With all the different kinds of sex out there, I was wondering what you all think it means to lose your virginity, or be a virgin? – No Reason Just Wondering, sophomore Dear Mr./Ms. Wondering, Whoa. Are you telling me that other stuff counts towards your non-virgin status? Why have I never... MORE »

April 14, 2012

Poll shows men wearing formal or business-casual clothes considered “distracting,” “super hot”

The unanimous results of the latest poll of the attracted-to-men community contains one surprising gem: dressed-up dudes are really hot. “I keep having to remind myself not to stare,” says an anonymous junior of the days her business class dresses up for presentations. When asked if she’d maybe be more productive if there were no... MORE »

April 2, 2012

Week in Review: Fell in love with a News

Your second-best source for the past week’s Daily Trojan headlines Nikias names recipient of staff award : I’m not giving mine away til I’m married Former First Lady of California and journalist Maria Shriver will speak at the Annenberg Communication Commencement : School of Marrying Unfaithful Bodybuilders graduates are piiiiissed DPS officers responded to a... MORE »

March 31, 2012

Anyone…?

March 31, 2012

Graduating student realizes she missed the “weird hair window”

“I never thought I’d be someone who DIDN’t cut half my hair off and dye it red,” says Elle, a grad student finishing school in May. She has recently realized what many students do – there’s a small window in which to experiment with extreme hairstyles, after which being taken seriously by the squarer members... MORE »

March 23, 2012

Health center now has vaccine to protect sexually active students against Feelings

Feelings is a sexually transmitted disease in the same vein as pregnancy – when wanted, it can be a beautiful thing. When unwanted, as is often the case during college years, it can ruin lives. “My day to day is pretty manageable,” says Alex, a sophomore whose Feelings escalated to Hurt Feelings and to full-blown... MORE »

March 19, 2012

Parents refuse another bailout though sophomore says she is “too big to fail”

“I made a bad business decision. I understand that now,” an anonymous* student** says, of the six months’ food money she spent this week on airplane tickets, tequila, sunscreen, Mexican-jail-bribe money and large amounts of cocaine (“as a joke!” she insists, rolling her eyes). “I am an institution! In my hall, in my study groups,... MORE »

March 19, 2012

21-year-old can finally drink in bars, can’t afford to drink in bars

“I’m not ordering cocktails made of gold!” yelled one SC senior as he was escorted out of a busy downtown bar last night. “Do they come off-brand?? Do you do payment plans?!” He is just one of many students whose long-awaited 21st birthdays quickly tanked due to bar-drink sticker shock. “Fifteen bucks is either a bottle... MORE »

March 19, 2012

BREAKING: Guy who doesn’t chip in thought beer was free

“It’s like when I found out Santa wasn’t real, all over again,” says Ross*, a junior who hasn’t put a dime toward beer the three years he’s been drinking it. “When I think back to all the shotgunning, all the beer pong… Even the victories feel like shame.” The frequent party host who broke the... MORE »

March 17, 2012

Week in Review: Hard out here for a News

Some employers look to Facebook profiles to determine a potential hire’s personality : I can’t figure out how to delete that application that put me in Hufflepuff!! DPS detained two bike theft suspects; one was found in possession of a pair of bolt cutters and a bike that he admitted was stolen, and the second suspect... MORE »

March 2, 2012

Graduating senior decides not to leave

Hi, school. We’ve been together for over 16 years now. I know you’re in your 130s and that doesn’t seem like a long time, but it’s 16/21 of my life and I don’t know why you’re doing this to me. I guess I always knew the graduating thing was coming. College is this cushy, insulated... MORE »

February 20, 2012

Week In Review: Get a load of the News on that guy!

Your second-best source for the past week’s Daily Trojan headlines DPS safety forum discusses student stress management, decreasing crime rates : Arguably, that second one could take care of both 1970 Los Angeles ban on throwing balls at beaches lifted : All my “MY BALLS, MY CHOICE!” posters must have worked! Onion editors address satire... MORE »

February 18, 2012

Bike Traffic Safety: Written For and By (Insane) Bikers

Without laws our society would crumble like so many cookies. Our campus bike traffic is abnormally apocalyptic and Highlander-y, so we here at Campus Basement want to say: good job! That’s how you do it ““ mow down pedestrians/each other, take no prisoners but take the heads for trophies. For those who need help remembering... MORE »

February 14, 2012

A Brief History of St. Valentine: Patron saint of ruining new couples

The 3rd century Roman was martyred for forcing people who were dating to decide too early whether they wanted to commit to an expensive night of manufactured romance. He was slowly burned to death by a crowd of bitter singles and angry casual daters. FUN FACT: Stupid presents are a vestigial relationship tradition, invented when... MORE »

February 10, 2012

A Bartender’s Guide to College Parties

Just because you’re working exclusively with lowest-shelf alcohol and off-brand sodas, your fellow bartenders are quickly getting drunk, and you’re behind the dining table your roommates dragged outside doesn’t mean you’re anything less than a mixologist. You’re a crafter of dreams, a nurser of egos. You feed good times to the sober and liquid courage... MORE »

February 6, 2012

Survey says 96% of womenâ€™s friends â€œcould do so much betterâ€

February 6, 2012

Week In Review: Another day, another News

Your second-best source for the past week’s Daily Trojan headlines New health center should mean more comprehensive care, more resources : AND BARRELS UPON BARRELS OF CONDOMS FOR ALL Norris to screen film on religion : Me to stay home and watch Archer $30 million donated to build new hall : It’s great the Dauterives... MORE »

February 3, 2012

Juniors’ roommate declared a national “disaster area”

The federal government declared a Communications major west of campus an official disaster area on Thursday, following weeks of destructive behavior and dangerous top speeds of around six shots/hour. In typical fashion, FEMA was slow to respond and residents in her vicinity suffered for it. After two freshman fraternity pledges were evacuated from the area,... MORE »

January 27, 2012

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January 22, 2012

Week in Review: I Want Newsual Healing

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January 20, 2012

LOCAL NONSTUDENT COLUMN: Why Canâ€™t It Be Quiet at 11PM on Saturdays?

Hello! I live two blocks off campus, I’m not a student and I call the LAPD about your noise more often than I talk to any actual people. You may be thinking, “Aw, man! What gives?” and I’d like the chance to explain! It may not be clear why I need weeknight quiet to my... MORE »

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A Roommate Break Up Told In Passive Aggressive Post-Its

Poll shows men wearing formal or business-casual clothes considered “distracting,” “super hot”

Week in Review: Fell in love with a News

Anyone…?

Graduating student realizes she missed the “weird hair window”

Health center now has vaccine to protect sexually active students against Feelings

Parents refuse another bailout though sophomore says she is “too big to fail”

21-year-old can finally drink in bars, can’t afford to drink in bars

BREAKING: Guy who doesn’t chip in thought beer was free

Week in Review: Hard out here for a News

Graduating senior decides not to leave

Week In Review: Get a load of the News on that guy!

Bike Traffic Safety: Written For and By (Insane) Bikers

A Brief History of St. Valentine: Patron saint of ruining new couples

A Bartender’s Guide to College Parties

Survey says 96% of womenâ€™s friends â€œcould do so much betterâ€

Week In Review: Another day, another News

Juniors’ roommate declared a national “disaster area”

Thoughts on Thursday’s Game (By Someone Who Doesn’t Get Sports)

Week in Review: I Want Newsual Healing

LOCAL NONSTUDENT COLUMN: Why Canâ€™t It Be Quiet at 11PM on Saturdays?

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